It’s parent-teacher interview day, where we get to find out all the stuff we mostly already know about how the kinderbesten are getting on at school. Rach leaves work at 11:30, because they have to get the kids out of the school so they can then come back again, this time with their parents, and get told about how they’re getting on at school. I then leave work early so I get home in time for our first interview.

We’ve wisely staggered our interviews, but not so far apart that we’ll have to loiter awkwardly on the school grounds. The Elderbeast is at 3:10, then the Kinderbeast at 3:30. Naturally I get home and the Elderbeast is nowhere to be seen: he’s at his friend’s house. We head to the school anyway in the potentially vain hope that the Elderbeast will meet us there.

We’re outside the classroom by 3:10, but there’s little sign that the previous interview is wrapping up anytime soon. Then we hear the Elderbeast running over. In a touch of sheer brilliance he’s not only managed to leave his bike, but also his shoes at his friend’s house. Spectacular.

It’s 3:25 before we’re called in for the Elderbeast’s interview. We elect to split up, so I head off for the Kinderbeast’s interview. It goes much as expected, and afterwards I find that the Elderbeast’s interview is still continuing (it was meant to be 3:10-3:20 … it’s now 3:45). It’s another ten minutes, with at least two other sets of parents waiting at the door, before we’re done. I still need to take the Elderbeast to his ice-skating lesson (starting at 4:30) so he’s instructed to retrieve his bike and shoes and come straight home.

Many, many, many minutes later he finally returns and we just about make it for the start of his lesson. I go and sit in the cafe and have to endure the spectacle of my phone running down from 8 percent battery, to 4 percent for a while, and then no percent.

When I finally get home and have the chance to sit down (after dinner and putting the kids to bed) I end up spending two obsessive hours putting together yet another epic list of favourite films: this time running in reverse from the year before my birth. It’s fun but I’m stupidly exhausted by the end of it all.

Should you care to spend rather less than two hours reading it, here’s the list.