Rach’s flight means getting up at stupid-o’clock. Luckily her Mum has offered to drive to the airport, so I don’t need to turf the kids out of bed, which would be needless stress right before a holiday. Inevitably I head back to bed once she has left.

The first day of #singleparentlyfe proceeds excellently–other than the Kinderbeast getting up early and destroying my attempted lie-in. We bake some brownies. Then we watch Moana (which takes me about half an hour to find as Rach has left it in an otherwise empty Target bag amid her clothes on the bedroom floor). Moana is excellent and we all love it.

Then, by popular demand, I am subjected to a round of The Game Of Life, which I lose as surely as a one-armed man in an archery contest. For dinner I treat myself and the Elderbeast to some steak. It’s a while since I’ve cooked steak, but I haven’t lost it. It’s delicious.

Finally, once the Kinderbeast has been settled in bed, it’s time for the real highlight of the weekend: introducing the Elderbeast to Aliens!

I’ve decided in the last few months that he’s ready for it, but I take time to explain that if he gets scared at any point then we can turn it off right away. I needn’t have worried: he loves it and is competely enrapt throughout.

  • Chestburster scene? “Gnarly!”
  • Burke getting finished off by an alien? “That alien deserves a promotion!”
  • The queen alien taking off after Ripley and Newt? “I guess she’s out of her stay-at-home-mum phase now…”

He already wants to watch it again…