The Kinderbeast wakes me at 5:30. Despite my best efforts at persuasion, he continues in his attempts to rouse me from bed. Eventually I relent, make some coffee, and start writing (1,200 words editing a promising yet troublesome tale about a fairground carousel).

Browsing the various ‘educational’ sites I’ve added to my Feedly account, my attention is captured by Alan Bennet’s diary. I’m inspired to write a diary during 2017 – just something to track the minor trivia of the day (and partly inspired an utter and collective failure on New Year’s Eve to remember how the 2015 edition of New Year’s Eve was spent).

This is, inevitably, it.

I have one more holiday goal yet to complete: to tidy up the patio area in a probably fruitless bid to encourage us to spend more time out there. I achieve the goal and spend 5 minutes sitting outside to savour my triumph before retreating indoors to make pancakes.

The Elderbeast, having had his Internet privileges dramatically shortened decides enlists my help in building the balsa wood Apache helicopter kit he got from Andy for Christmas. Surprisingly, this task proves far less annoying than it had any right to be.

Prolonged drama ensues after the Kinderbeast knocks one of his teeth during play. He is mostly miserable for the remainder of the day. Panadol and cuddles are dispensed.

Sherlock, series 1, episode 1 provides the evening’s entertainment at Carter’s request. Still damn telly, and the Elderbeast’s newfound passion for Sherlock appears to persist for now …