Category: Diary Page 42 of 47

Today was defined by two things: extreme tiredness and extreme dizziness.

I’m slightly puzzled by the tiredness, given that it wasn’t a late night and my trip to Rottnest wasn’t particularly active (unlike my fellow travellers who are all saddle-sore). Seems that any break from the norm takes its toll these days.

The dizziness is even more unexpected. It’s akin to your ears still ringing the day after going to see a concert. Except this is more like the ground magically transforming into rolling waves every time I sit down. It’s disconcerting, nauseating, and gets so bad that I think about heading home early. I don’t. The feeling starts to wear off later in the afternoon, but I’m amazed that a one hour boat trip can come with such a physiological after-shock.

So it turns out that we have an awesome friend, whose dad not only owns a boat, but was awesome enough to let us all tag along on a trip to Rottnest. So this is the story of how a random idea about a Pokemon hunt turned into a family outing.

Originally I wasn’t going to tag along, thinking this literally was just a Pokemon hunt, but the whole family were invited and it seemed mean to deprive the kids of an extremely rare chance to take a private boat trip to Rottnest. That said, it wasn’t until the morning that I finally decided to go along.

In the end there were well over a dozen of us hitching a ride (some of whom, in true Perth fashion, it turned out I knew from twitter). The Kinderbeast proved to be a big hit all round, managing to get all manner of strangers/fellow passengers to lug him around the various parts of the boat. The Elderbeast scored himself a co-pilot’s seat. Finally everyone was assembled and we were set for a pleasant cruise over to Rottnest.

Or so we thought.

Let’s talk a little bit about seasickness.

I’ll say quite honestly that the thought of being sick on the trip hadn’t even remotely occurred to me. It was a small boat, short trip, fine day–in my naiveté I figured that meant seasickness just wasn’t a thing that was going to happen. So I settled in the main cabin, with a few others, including Stormy and prepared to enjoy the ride. After twenty minutes or so of constant bumping around I’ll confess I did start to feel a mite nauseous. Fortunately, sitting back and closing my eyes seemed to help quite a lot. Then I become aware of some movement beside me: one of our friends is cleaning up the sofa with some handy kitchen roll. I realise that the Kinderbeast has puked all over the seat. And all over himself. And also all over me. I look over and the cabin has turned into a pukefest: one friend with her head in a bag, the other looking pure green while presiding over a formerly empty cardboard box. Our friend with the kitchen roll wipes up the worst of the damage, then flies to the back of the boat to join in the chorus. I continue to wipe up while just about managing to retain the contents of my own stomach.

Fortunately it’s getting near the end of the journey. The Kinderbeast is distraught, but we’re moving slowly enough now to go and stand by the back of the boat and get some fresh air … while I continue to mop up the apparent acres of puke that he’s adorned himself with.

Then, finally, land! We stagger onto the island and find a shady spot to relax in, and perhaps eat a tonne or two of crisps. Salty goodness! Must be my sea legs kicking in. After that: pie, because Rottnest is all about the eating. As we eat, the Kinderbeast starts to really kick it off with our host: it makes me very happy and proud to see him bonding so well with someone he’s never met before.

The decision is then made to hire some bicycles in order to achieve the Pokemon hunting goal of the day. I abstain, deciding that cycling with the Kinderbeast in tow will be too much hard work. We find a nearby playground to hang out at, and I watch the Kinderbeast as he successfully engages in a game of imaginary pirates with some other five-year-olds … and then less successfully with a group of ten-year-olds that show up a little later. I call him over and suggest he tries being a little less bossy, but I think he quietly decides I’m just full of crap.

It seems almost no time before Rach comes to join us, having decided that cycling isn’t agreeing with her knee, and we abscond to Dome for some much-needed coffee. Shortly after, we’re also joined by the Elderbeast and Hedgie. I grab twenty minutes of peace and quiet, while the others go to return bikes and look for more Pokemon, and use the time to get started on Hidden Figures–which I’m already hooked on by the time everyone returns.

We regroup with the others and decide it’s time for more pie, but somehow pie turns into ice cream and no one complains about that at all. Apart from the Elderbeast who seems to not like ice cream. I wonder if he’s really mine sometimes …

Once ice cream is consumed, the various members of our party disappear in search of further Pokemon. We few who remain take the bus over to Longreach Bay, where our ride is docked. The others gradually join us. Much fun is had taking the tiny dinghy back over to the boat (which, we find out, almost drifted away earlier). We have an hour or so to chill out and snack. Some people go for a swim. Stormy renews his acquaintance with the various other passengers. Then it’s time to leave.

We learn from our mistakes and chug down some anti-nausea tablets, and choose different seats. The Kinderbeast sits upstairs (the scene of No Puking on the outbound journey) with Rach, and I decided to stand at the back of the boat, in the open air: I reason that staying on my feet will make it easier to move with the boat and hopefully not end up feeling less sick.

Something works, or everything does, because no one pukes on the way back. I visit the top of the boat a few times, and get to enjoy the sight of a speeding boat being pulled over by the river police. I find myself marvelling at sheer number of huge cargo ships that line our path. Fremantle may be tiny on the map, but the docks sure seem to bring in the big business.

Then we’re back at the boat club and, in the nicest way possible, urged to leave the boat quickly so the owners can get on with the cleaning up. We head home, relax for a bit on the sofa, then head to bed. Shattered.

Today is a Very Hot Day. Like, way too hot to do something stupid like invite a bunch of friends round to watch a movie. We’ve been meaning to have an Awesome Film Night (where a bunch of us get together to watch an awesome movie) for a while, and apparently have even scheduled the date for it: today. However, since our entire social collective has lost the ability to plan anything since 2016 happened we’re not even sure whether we’re doing it or not. Spoiler: we are.

The chosen film is Airplane! (or Flying High for the heathens among you). We realise, with much internalised–and externalised–disgust, that we don’t own a copy on Blu-ray. It’s off to the shops! We find Airplane, filed under F, and also see that Arrival is out. Mostly as an excuse to go and buy other things we decide to check out Big W in case it’s cheaper there. They don’t have it. So we go to Target, where they still don’t have it. $110 later we’re too tired to hunt elsewhere and leave the shops without Arrival.

But we have Airplane. And it is indeed awesome.

But we defnitely won’t talk about the saga of the Awesome Film Night guest who ran out of petrol on the freeway and had to walk to the petrol station in her pajamas…

Rach has another migraine, but at least it’s Fridate, which relieves some of the pain. We entertain ourselves by watching videos of abandoned Scottish buildings and playlists of 1980s movie trailers on YouTube.

What? That’s not how everyone else spends Friday night?

Finally finished Luke Cage!

It’s one of those days where I have to drive up to the city for a 9:30 meeting. It’s also one of those days where I have to drop the kids off at school, fill the car up, and then relax in the contemplative bliss of heavy traffic on the freeway. I do get to the city in time to grab coffee before my meeting, which is of course The Most Important Thing.

I then make the mistake of getting a THIRD Coffee Of The Day when I get Back To The Office which makes the Rest Of The Day feel like EVERYTHING is Being Capitalized.

It’s skating day, which means Rach and the Elderbeast are out until past 7pm. I take my time preparing dinner. Then we eat dinner. Then everyone goes to bed. It’s one of those evenings that they write about in the history books. Or maybe it’s just one of those evenings that I actually get some spare time to write about the evening in which I’m writing about my evening.

And then my head exploded …

Today is PEAC day for the Elderbeast. I drop the Kinderbeast off, drive up to a whole other school to drop the Elderbeast off, and then go to work. At 11am I leave work to go and collect the Elderbeast from PEAC. I have a lengthy conversation about the quality of the Elderbeast’s handwriting, which falls somewhere between that of a UK NHS employee and my own (i.e. abysmal), and how it’s holding him back.

I then drop the Elderbeast at his usual school, where he has his first session with his new mentor, and then have an even lengthier conversation with his usual teacher about how his lack of focus is holding him back.

Clearly work needs to be done.

We end the day with the penultimate episode of Luke Cage. Never before has binge-watching a series been such a marathon task.

It’s Fucken Monday!

The Elderbeast complains of stomach pains in a bid to be excused from school. This is less than ideal as both Rach and I have jobs to get to, and Rach has already left for hers … which is actually, mostly the same as mine–it’s complicated (except not really: we just work in the same office. Also, I’m technically her boss. Which where it gets complicated.)

I’m initially skeptical of the Elderbeast’s claims but for two things: firstly, I don’t want to get a call from the school in about two hours to come and pick him up, which is the usual progression of events in these situations; secondly, he’s being unusually compliant, and good behaviour is one of the typical symptoms of illness in the Elderbeast. In the end, I succeed in abandoning him at the in-laws’ house.

I get to work just in time to see another rejection arrive in my inbox. It’s for a story that I thought had a decent shot, but I guess this one didn’t hit. I still like the story, so I guess I’ll send it elsewhere when I drag myself off the floor.

I continue to be excessively tired after the Friday Night Out. I am literally too old for this shit, but I have no regrets because Friday Night Out was awesome. Nevertheless, I achieve minimal writing on my morning shift. Unless staring forlornly at the screen now counts as writing.

Rach is off to an adult friend’s Disney-themed birthday party, and has abandoned me to chaperone the Kinderbesten to a Children’s Party. It’s local, it’s in a park, and we all survive, which counts as a successful party as far as I’m concerned.

Back home we watch The Good Dinosaur. I’ve read the book to the Kinderbeast several times so it’s good to finally catch up with the movie – and it’s a decent movie too!

For dinner I make an enormous cauliflower curry, and we catch up with Luke Cage (episode 10).

Predictably tired after last night’s fun and games I make the most of my all-too-brief Saturday lie-in. Eventually, however, I have to rise from my slumber we can take Beryl, our bonus Friday night babysitter, home.

After arriving at the in-laws house we conclude that we have not yet had breakfast, despite it being almost lunchtime, and that breakfast must be had. For reasons to vague to be committed to this page we decide to check out a local cafe that we used to frequent but have not visited for at least five years. The cafe is still there, but with a new name, new decor and seemingly under new ownership. It’s a bit like the conundrum of whether you’re still the same human being given that every cell in your body replaces itself over the course of seven years. Or maybe it’s a variant of Schrodinger’s Cat – the cafe that is still there but is also not there anymore.

Either way, they served up a fine eggs benedict.

We head to the shops because I need new jeans. I don’t recall if I wrote about it, but I was mortified to find I’d worn the wrong jeans to work one day: the jeans that have a hole in the knee, instead of my good jeans. I was even more mortified when I realised they were, in fact, the good jeans that had recently developed a hole in the knee.

We also go to Target, where the Kinderbeast spends some of his birthday money–wisely, imo–on a couple of LEGO sets. We are briefly tempted by a film called The Accountant, but decline to purchase. Then it’s off to Coles to acquire a quantity of vegetables to be roasted for our dinner.

For the evening we finally check out John Wick. It’s a film that I’ve seen mentioned often, always in a positive light, but know very little about. There used to be a day when I knew about very film that came out. This is not that day. But the film is great, and leaves me keen to check out the sequel.